During this time of waiting, I discovered the AOL chat rooms, member directory, etc.
" and instead of looking up the word "spanking" in the dictionary (which I had done ever since I could remember) I typed in the word "spanking".
Within a matter of seconds, my screen was filled with a long list of names whose profiles contained detailed descriptions of spanking scenarios, fantasies and familiar phrases.
One fine day, I got several interviews across the country (literally) and planned a trip. He then patted me again on my head, lifted the hair from my eyes and began the spanking again. I curled up into his lap, no longer ashamed of my nakedness, no longer ashamed of my pain. I was very sleepy, exhausted from such an emotional and physical taxing experience, as comforting as it was near the end. He decided that before I left him, that it would be good for me to have a "remember to be good spanking". Back into his lap I went when it was over and he rocked me again for another few minutes as I settled back down. It was my pleasure." I said goodbye and left his room, walked gingerly and sleepily down the hallway to the elevator.
I had arranged to meet a "Daddy" for real, who I had met on line, and who lived in the same city where I'd be interviewing. I laughed nervously to myself at the mere thought of it. I won't force you do to anything you don't want to do." Everything he said to me made a lot of sense. A few more minutes passed and he stopped spanking me. Out of my mouth came a series of confessions in between my sobs. Oh, I felt so young, so accepted, so totally loved and cared for. Finally I had someone to listen to my fears, to tend to my needs, to discipline me with love and support. This time, the pain only emphasized my emotional vulnerability and it didn't take very long for me to cry out another series of sobs. " "Yes, I'm sure." And at that, he set down the paddle and sat on the bed himself and gathered me into his lap. He rocked me back and forth in his lap, stroking my back and cooing in my ear. I sat down very carefully and he smiled at me, noting how sore my bottom was. I hardly noticed the waiter, the other people in the room, my surroundings. I agreed and laid back on the bed again, over my two pillows and cried my way through another spanking. I would have stayed there that night and slept in the other bed, like he had suggested, but I needed to be alone that night, to sleep by myself, to slowly digest my new experience, being the independant young woman that I was. Once inside, I caught my relfection in the mirrored wall and smiled at myself. Once I reached my friend's house I went into the bathroom to dress in my nightgown. I went to bed with that tender ache and afterglow and slept so soundly.
I remember him telling me that when I stepped out of that taxi to the airport, that I was going to meet Daddy and for one reason only. I would lose all sense of modestly and adulthood, and after my spanking, he said he would be there to support me emotionally and that I'd finally have someone there to listen to me cry, someone who cared enough to take me in hand and give me the attenion I so desperately needed. You and I have agreed to meet and do somehting that most people don't do with each other. He held my hand the entire way through the airport and when I appeared too quiet, he'd whisper a little threat to me in my ear, "Sharon, if you don't relax, I'll have to take you somewhere quiet and give you a spanking." This statement gave me quite a thrill and really helped to relax me. He came over to my hands and pulled my fingers apart, preventing me from fisting my hands. He continued to spank me harder and harder, stopping now and then to caress my head. I felt just like a five year old little girl, crying in her Daddy's arms, safe in his firm embrace. He took a blanket and covered me with it, sat back and pulled me close to him, my head resting comfortably against his chest just underneath his chin. "You are so welcome." Suddenly I was filled with a great sense of joy. Darkness came and I awoke with a gentle nudge from him. "Sharon." he said, "Finish your soup before it gets cold." Now normally, a comment or rather a COMMAND like that would have made me laugh. no one could make me eat my soup if I didn't want to. I called "Daddy" a few days later to thank him again and we had a very nice chat on the phone.
Soon, I was standing at his gate, waiting for the passengers to come off the plane. I relaxed because he WANTED me to..it helped a great deal to know that he was in control. Now I began to say "Ouch" "Ow" and other verbal responses to the pain. This time with the belt and I continued to try to stifle my tears. He kissed my forehead and continued to talk to me softly and rock me, while tenderly patting my bottom again, which by now was glowing comfortably in a pulsating and pleasant warmth. But instead of arguing with him, which would have been my natural impulse, my hand grasped my spoon and dipped it into my soup bowl and the next thing I knew, I was swallowing that delicious potato soup. A year later, to this very day, I still catch him on line and we chat.
Three months later, I had arrived home and moved back into my old bedroom, had enrolled in full time graduate courses in the city, and gotten a part time job to help pay my way.
Two years quickly passed by and I was on the verge of graduating, ready to travel across the country again for interviews. However, in waiting for these interviews to happen, there was about a month long wait which worried me, and just about drove me crazy....waiting for all these business to reply to my resume.
I never understood that fantasy, but I knew it was strong enough to stay with me and grow in strength, as I grew in strength.
I had friends while growing up who frequently got spanked, and all of my senses were keenly tuned to the sound of the word SPANKING.
So, by this time, as I lay awake on my friend's couch, tossing and turning in anticipation of what it would be like, my stomach was in knots and I remember not sleeping one single wink. The naughty little girl, having to wait for her first spanking smiled to herself. Of course, I had to be in my interview clothes, and the panties I usually wore were white cotton thongs. But I know if you don't do this, you'll be missing out on a truly wonderful experience. But I want your first spanking experience to be a safe and consensual one. He said that I had his TOTAL support, physical and emotional. I was coming closer and closer to that emotional edge, where the true source of all my pain grew from. This was freedom, this was liberation, this was heaven. All the "fight" had left me, all the pain, all the tension of life went away. You need to let it out." Never in my life had anyone given me permission like that to truly feel negative emotions. You were a good partner." he patted my fanny again. I snuggled into his embrace more fully and slept like a baby for a few minutes. This stranger whom I had just met was taking very good care of me. Like a new green bud, ready to flower, that had just been watered and fertilized. At one point of our conversation, he noticed I wasn't eating my soup. Still, the interview went well, as did the remainder of my stay away from home.