Your access to the NCBI website at gov has been temporarily blocked due to a possible misuse/abuse situation involving your site.This is not an indication of a security issue such as a virus or attack. I'm sure someone would consider five years of sobriety vs fifteen days much more impressive and less likely to blow up in their face.
I'm lucky that he tolerates my occasional pot smoking. Heck its been well over a year since my last formal date anyway so I think I can wait longer if necessary. There are parts of my social life that involve drinking that I'm not really willing to give up, but as long as that's not an issue for her, I'd consider it. Like others have said, there is a big difference between 5 days sober and 5 years sober. I can deal with those in recovery who hit a regular AA meeting to keep themselves in check, but not with someone whose life revolves around it.
Those recovering alcoholics who have talked about changes especially during the first year, can you be more specific? Some alcoholics just stop drinking, some alcoholics need the universe to revolve around their not drinking anymore. And if she's really recovering, not relapsing, it shouldn't be a problem; I've dated girls who don't really drink before and it hasn't been an issue. IME, with most alcoholics, drinking is only a symptom of their problem as a whole.
The object of your affection probably knows this, as well and may be hesitant to get down with you for that very reason. FWIW, I've passed on a couple of smoking hotties who prominently mentioned their recoveries in their Match profiles. I'd feel the same way if somebody mentioned their personal relationship with Jesus before they asked me out on a date.* Thanks, but it probably won't work out. Most relationships that I have seen do not make it, the "normal" spouse can begin to have problems because they no longer need to protect or take care of the alcoholic, this can lead in several directions.
To be frank, much of my social life involves drinking in one way or another. And like has been mentioned, major decisions in the first year should be avoided if possible.
The object of your affection probably knows this, as well and may be hesitant to get down with you for that very reason. I'd rather date someone who is recovering than someone who is an alcoholic in denial! So now that I have the generalization in my head, I think I'd be really wary.
But agree with the above that it makes sense to make sure the "friend of Bill" is steady in their ways and doing well before plunging right in to things. Two may not be enough for a generalization in other things, but for me, in this, I'm going with it.Tends to end badly, even if the person doesn't drink. Sure, as long as the person is working some kind of program. One of them is very active in the community, has a great attitude, and is genuinely a great guy (and is hung like a horse :p) - I'd date him in a second if it would work in a long-term sense, but we no longer live in the same city.The other friend, who has been in AA for several years is often moody and distant, and those are qualities I wouldn't want in a partner, regardless of alcoholism. Well, I usually like a nice glass of beer when I eat. In my family, bourbon is one of the four food groups.Less than a year sober, and I'd be reluctant, I think. I wouldn't reject someone out of hand, but I confess that if someone admitted they had a problem with alcohol -- and admitting is undeniably a good and necessary step -- it would make a difference if they were off the sauce for five minutes, five days, five months, or five years. Sorry, I'm going to consider you a current (problem) drinker. Probably a bit shakey, but committed to recovery and if I liked you, I'd see you again, though I'd be cautious and we'd be taking it slow. No problem, though I would change my own behaviors to respect and support your recovery (not go to drinking places with you, not drink around you). Over that first year I became very different, more present. We needed to either reinvent our relationship as a married couple or leave each other for greener pastures.I can't speak from experience, but I've always assumed that committing to recovery and following through is freaking HARD. In time we stayed together - but we changed our wedding bands to reflect the evolution our lives and marriage had gone through.Again, this isn't really about me, just some general questions since this is new territory for me.