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I did not have a good morning, nothing is going right, negativity just seems to be piling up and I don't think I will be able to dig out from under.

"Yesterday I found out I have to have court ordered psychological evaluation before I can see my son, it's going to cost

I did not have a good morning, nothing is going right, negativity just seems to be piling up and I don't think I will be able to dig out from under.

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I did not have a good morning, nothing is going right, negativity just seems to be piling up and I don't think I will be able to dig out from under.

"Yesterday I found out I have to have court ordered psychological evaluation before I can see my son, it's going to cost $1,250, I can't even put gas in my vehicle, so how long will it be before I see Carter now. I have this reoccurring dream every night that I am going to die, and you know what I think it is inevitable that that is what is going to happen, so in case I didn't say it, I LOVE YOU and will miss you with all of my heart, you know who you are ...

Before the killings, Mead had used his My Space site to explain the anguish he felt over being separated from his family.

,250, I can't even put gas in my vehicle, so how long will it be before I see Carter now. I have this reoccurring dream every night that I am going to die, and you know what I think it is inevitable that that is what is going to happen, so in case I didn't say it, I LOVE YOU and will miss you with all of my heart, you know who you are ...

Before the killings, Mead had used his My Space site to explain the anguish he felt over being separated from his family.

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Dressed in camouflage clothing from head-to-toe, with his face painted, and armed with a shotgun and knife, the Hesperia man hid Thursday night behind his in-law's home at 1043 S. "It appears he was lying in wait for her to arrive," said Oceana County Sheriff's Lt. Priese said Mead parked his vehicle on a two-track road behind the home, then broke in, stole the shotgun and waited.When his wife returned with other family members, "he confronted them with a firearm outside," Priese said, then he "was pulling and dragging her into the woods." The 911 call to Mason-Oceana Dispatch came at p.m., with deputies arriving in the isolated rural area about 15 minutes later." The next day, Mead wrote, "Today is my son Carter's birthday.I won't be able to see him, talk to him, give him a present, hug or kiss him.After her slaying, the search for Mead encompassed about a 1-by-2 mile area in Ferry Township that included woods, a pine tree plantation, swampland and heavy undergrowth, Priese said.

Mason/Oceana Dispatch used an automated communications system to call phone numbers within a 5-mile radius of the 160th Avenue residence, warning people about the incident and telling them to stay inside behind locked doors.Hart, Shelby and Hesperia police sent officers as did the state police and Mason County Sheriff's Department. Coast Guard helicopter also was used in the search.Manistee Tribal police also responded, bringing a police dog. "She died of multiple gunshot wounds," Priese said.Funeral arrangements received Friday from Crandell Funeral Home in Fremont use the name Jessica Ann Monroe.Warren Monroe of Hart, the victim's great-uncle, said Mead's actions were apparently precipitated by his wife's recent decision to leave him.