Evan, what kind of ‘constructive feedback’ did you give when asked? I’d be suspicous of someone’s motives for asking such a question.
If your profile is half-finished, or Arctic in its brevity, or doesn’t include photos, most likely you won’t receive a reply.
For more advice, check out our top tips for writing your online dating profile. Again, don’t panic – it doesn’t have to be the best, most perfect subject line in the history of dating sites. If your match mentions loving a specific film, use a quote from it as your subject.
So, in response to your query about how to tell someone that it’s the lack of chemistry that’s the reason for blowing someone off, how about this novel idea: How about you don’t say anything?
And I will resist all impulses to write my response to in iambic pentameter.
If they love a certain stand-up comic, use the beginning of one of their jokes (Google is your friend at times like these).
Create something that’s witty and warm and demonstrates you’ve read their profile, as opposed to just flicking through their photos. Research has shown that people warm towards hearing their own name in conversation.
Use that scientific discovery to your own advantage, by starting your email with a “Hello [Username]” and not a non-specific “Hi.” If you want to create a feeling of warmth, shorten their name, use its initials, or create a nickname based on one of their interests. Everyone loves to read about themselves, so don’t begin your message by launching straight in about you.
Instead, start by saying what caught your eye about their profile.
Struggling to think of the right thing to say to an attractive match?
Here’s match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor with dating advice on how to give great copy.
What do you do when you hit it off with someone in an email correspondence and in phone conversations, and then when you meet you find them unattractive? The only reason I see fit to offer my thoughts is if someone asks for genuine constructive feedback.