Such sexual ’norms’ have slipped insidiously into our dating culture, perhaps without us even consciously realising it. Rachel Hills, a researcher, speaker and writer whose forthcoming book The Sex Myth explores ideas around these supposed regular sexual behaviours, says, “There are a lot of people for whom three dates is much too soon to initiate sexual contact with a new person.
How will the story stack up against the greatest films about business?
Let’s get one thing straight…Girls are sexual creatures. Girls think about sex, maybe even more than you do.
Girls, women, whatever you want to refer to the fairer sex as – they are not these pure, chastised creatures many in the media make them out to be.
I hope you already knew this, but I had to make sure we are on the same page.
It also reflects an expectation that sex will happen relatively early in a relationship: not so early that you're a slut, but still sooner than many people would be able to achieve emotional intimacy with someone.” It’s a very unfashionable thing to admit to these days - that you might not feel ready to perform the most intimate of physical acts with someone after spending less than a working day’s worth of time in their company.
It feels embarrassing, like one’s inadvertently letting the feminist side down – surely it’s the duty of the modern, urbane woman about town to exercise her sexual liberation, hard-won by generations past, with wild, carefree abandon?It’s not enough to say, “no thank you, not yet.” Rather, there is an overwhelming pressure to say, “no, because…” Sometimes, it feels easier to just lie back and think of England (or Benedict Cumberbatch).It’s not only women who've bought into the notion they need to explain if they wish to abstain. They’re convinced that if a girl hasn’t got her kit off three or four dates in, she’s simply not interested.Our romantic culture generally consisted of hanging out with mates down the pub, doing some drinking, and then sort of somehow ending up with one of them and not really discussing the matter until six months in.But with the ascent of online dating – which is reportedly now the way one in five relationships start – we have become a date-centric society, particularly in London where it seems that anyone who’s single is on Tinder.“If we can see that not everyone is having sex like this, it becomes easier to talk about the ways in which our own sexual experiences deviate from that ‘norm’.