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“We asked women to lie in an MRI scanner to measure brain response to an electrical shock — first when holding a stranger’s hand and then holding their husband’s hand,” he says.I contemplate why anyone would even choose to be electrically shocked. Like walking across the carpet and touching a doorknob.

“Good relationships offset tension in daily life.” Anxiety spikes blood pressure, which hobbles the immune system.

“But when you have sex, you release feel-good hormones, including oxytocin and endorphins,” Coan adds.

D., professor of psychology at the University of the West of Scotland at Paisley.

In one study, people kept a diary of their sexual activity for two weeks.

Steve wasn’t sure prescribing contact could cure my anxiety, but he agreed to try.

I think the notion of a calm wife appealed to him even more than imagining the pleasure to come.

“But if your sex life isn’t working, the entire relationship is vulnerable to distancing, infidelity and a breakup. When we connect physically, we cut our partners slack.

But when there’s no sexual connection, you get angrier quicker. Before long, you’re not having it at all and the relationship frays.

Eventually, you begin to associate your partner with those positive feelings, and he becomes someone you trust to be your soother during tough times.

All this had me scratching my head, wondering, Can a relationship be “good” without good sex? “If the sex is satisfying, it’s one part of a larger relationship,” Berman says.

Over time, it will crumble.” No two ways about it: Despite how overwhelmed we felt, Steve and I were going to have to rebooty our sex life to save our health, our state of mind and perhaps even our relationship.