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After making sure the door was shut, there was nobody peeking through the window, and stressing “this is only for the bedroom, this is only for your husband,” one of the matrons started giving a detailed demonstration of how all the moves we had learned are used in context.

Holding her imaginary husband in every imaginable position, she went on for more than fifteen minutes, while the other women clapped and threw money at her in appreciation.

- Staying in Chawama, a compound outside Zambia’s capital Lusaka, I spent many an evening chatting to the local women as they sat outside and cooked on their charcoal braziers.

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The way lovemaking was turned into a series of dance moves made it more abstract and fascinating to watch.It was nothing like a porn movie, but more like being in a theatre and watching a fine art performance.But when I looked around, everybody else seemed quite comfortable.Shy and reserved as Zambian ladies may be about these issues in public, inside this room the atmosphere was amazingly free and open.“I am going to try this with my husband tonight,” one lady said.From the way things sounded, this is the key to a successful marriage, but during our chats the women never quite revealed what is actually taught during these mysterious ceremonies.

Of course I grew more and more curious, and when I finally got the opportunity to attend one, I did not have to think twice."We teach them both, women and men together," she says.This adapted form aims to sensitise men to women's rights.“My husband never likes it when I do this,” complained another, after which one of the old ladies would give some more tips and tricks on how to do it better.The next day I learned even more moves and skills, like how to shave my husband ‘down there’.The door was closed behind me, and while I was still trying to gauge the atmosphere, the ladies started undressing, some just pulling up their shirts to reveal their bellies, while others remained with only their underwear and a ‘chitenge’ cloth wrapped around their waist.